People
by Margo Aramian Ragan
Make opportunities out of the obstacles in your life,” sage advice given by the grandmother of Bethany Hernandez to her granddaughter. The New York native who now makes her home in Newtown has faced challenges that would have intimidated a person with less character and resolve. She was only a 20-year-old sophomore in college when a medical emergency threatened her life. What happened afterward is an inspiration to anyone who knows Bethany's story.
“My childhood was not a typical Norman Rockwell kind of situation,” Bethany said. “I had low self-esteem, and I was depressed because I thought I was overweight, and sometimes behaved in a self-destructive manner.” Bethany spent part of her childhood in New York, part in Downingtown Chester County which only added to her feelings of insecurity as she moved from one family household to another. Compounding the problem were her excessive and heavy nose bleeds, which doctors later attributed to auto-immune disease.
At age 14, Bethany started to turn her life around. She says she returned to the church of her faith, and began to take care of herself in a healthy manner. Her mother Nancy Boehm, was an influence on her. “My mom was and is a major role model for me. She instilled in me and my siblings the benefit of working hard for our goals, and taking responsibility for our actions and decisions,” said Bethany. “She has been at my side when I needed her most.”
One goal Bethany set for herself was to join the Marines. She talked with her sister Nicole about joining together, which became a mutual goal for the sisters as they worked out and trained for the physical examination. Nicole successfully passed the physical and is still in the Marine Corps, but Bethany was rejected because of her history of auto immune disease. A major disappointment.
Bethany channeled that disappointment into a desire to attend Nyack College in upstate New York, with the goal of becoming a social worker or psychologist. “I was determined to follow a career path where I could help young people who might have had similar childhoods. I loved what I was studying, and to top it off, I met Jennifer Santos, who became and still is my best friend. We were inseparable, thoroughly enjoying our college experiences, on and off campus.”
Bethany even became a cheerleader, her ebullience making her a natural for the position. She also discovered a love for physical training, not knowing at that time how important that would be later on in her life.
Then one morning in 2006, a medical thunderbolt struck. “I was in lecture hall, but I couldn't focus on what was being said,” Bethany recalled. “I had had a migraine headache in the morning, only the second time that I had experienced that kind of pain. I stumbled my way out of the class, made it to my room, where I remember drifting in and out of consciousness. One of my dorm mates discovered me on the floor and called 911.” After six days of hospital testing, the doctors asked her if she knew anything about kidney disease, because her own kidneys were functioning at only 10 percent.
Bethany vividly recalls her shock at the diagnosis. “I knew I was sick, but kidney failure? I almost could not breathe at the thought of dialysis. The situation was overwhelming and just plain scary,” she said. “Everything that was finally going right in my life stopped. My instinct was to deny the seriousness of what I was facing,” admitted Bethany.
She continued her path of denial for the next two years, despite the fact that her medical team urged her to initiate dialysis treatment—her life was in jeopardy. Finally, Bethany had to concede that she couldn't function without treatment and agreed to this major change in her life. “I was sick and tired of being sick and tired,” she said.
The support and strength of her mother helped Bethany reach this decision. “I was frightened by Bethany's diagnosis too,” said Nancy, “It was a total curve ball, but I knew I had to be strong for Bethany's sake. You don't expect your child to have such a serious illness. We don't have a family history of kidney disease although I did learn through subsequent testing that I was born with only one functioning kidney.”
Nancy credits her own parents for giving her the strength to pass along to her own daughter. “They were raised during the Depression and taught our family that anything is possible with hard work and faith in one another,” she said. “My mother always told us to be our own advocate, and that is what I wanted Bethany to do.”
Bethany began a form of treatment called peritoneal dialysis. “PD is supposed to reduce the stress on your heart and blood vessels,” Bethany explained. “The patient has fewer medications and is able to eat a wider variety of foods.” Her treatments were to be done four times a day, which meant Bethany's life and activities were all determined by her dialysis schedule.
“My mother kept telling me to take this as a learning opportunity, that thought and the faith of my church helped me cope during this time, because I was really ill,” Bethany said. “All I wanted was to be normal, living like any other 22-year-old, but what was happening to me was anything but normal.”
Unfortunately, the day came when PD was no longer working. Bethany's doctors told her she needed to go on hemodialysis, a more intense process than PD. With hemodialysis, blood is pumped out and then returned to your body by tubes. The doctors also told her that she needed a kidney transplant.
“I would go every other day to a dialysis center in Newtown for my treatment. In between times I would work in retail for a major box store in the Newtown Shopping Center,” said Bethany. “I felt ill most of the time, but in retail, good customer service is imperative. My best friend Jennifer kept in touch with me nearly every day and kept my spirits up, so I was able to do my job in a positive way while feeling so poorly.”
Hemodialysis proved to be a huge challenge for Bethany. “While you are on this program, you have to be on a renal diet which limits many healthy foods because of the potassium, phosphorus and water content in many fruits and vegetables,” Bethany explained. “I was losing weight, and the medical team kept urging me to eat candy, chocolates and such.”
Bethany determined she would have the kidney transplant at Hahnemann Hospital in Philadelphia. Nancy has compared the period of waiting on a transplant list as nerve wracking as waiting for a baby to be born. Several times, Bethany was notified that a kidney was available, but each time a person on the list who needed multiple organs was given preference over her.
Then, on March 6, 2015 the phone rang and a kidney was available. Her moment had finally arrived. “I don't remember the ride to the hospital,” said Bethany. “The kidney was harvested from a 20-year-old man who died in an accident.”
After a six-hour operation and a five-day stay in the hospital with few complications, Bethany was ready to return to her home, and a new life. “I have been given the ultimate gift,” said Bethany, “and I am determined to honor that gift by living a clean life and learning all I can about making my body function normally again.”
But there was and is an emotional challenge. “I did write a letter of gratitude to the family of the donor but I haven't mailed it yet,” she admitted. “I am alive because their loved one passed. My feelings of appreciation are very intense but I acknowledge the depth of their grief. I did get a small tattoo of an angel on my leg, because seeing that angel every day reminds me of the sacrifice someone made so that I may live.”
With discipline and determination, Bethany has embarked on making a new life for herself. “I learned in college that working out was fun, and I have decided to become a certified personal trainer,” she said. “I work now at a fitness center, helping others reach their personal goals. Since I have had to readjust my goals several times, I feel I can and do motivate others to do the same.”
Bethany is disciplined in what she eats on a daily basis. “Your body is directly affected by what you put into your body. I believe disease, aches and pains, psychological health is directly affected by what we eat,” she explained. “Your body wants homeostasis, which means balance or stability which the body will maintain when you eat power foods for sustenance.”
Her food plan is not a diet per se. It is a balanced approach to achieve health for your body.
According to Bethany, she eats two eggs a day, with four to six egg whites. “I alternate the kinds of different fruits, berries and vegetables so that my diet is never boring. I rarely eat dairy except for Greek yogurt which is a great source of protein,” she said.
She encourages eating oats and sweet potatoes because they sustain energy and carbs. “I make sure to eat avocado, nuts and use different oils as they are a good source of fat,” she said. “I tell my clients that by exercising and caring for yourself, you are acting as a motivator for others who may be struggling with their issues.”
Bethany is very modest about telling her life's story, but she says it may eventually come out in her sessions with clients. Knowing her now, it is difficult to imagine Bethany as a sick individual. She is bursting with energy with an extremely full and hectic work schedule. If she is not working, she is running as part of her daily routine. Finding time in Bethany's schedule to talk for this article was a challenge, but somehow she managed to eke out the time for me.
Now at 30 years of age, Bethany is a mixture of positivity and gratitude. “There were many dark periods in my life, but my family, friends, and church members were there to support me and help me reach my goals,” she said. “I tell others who may be struggling with issues in their lives, to reach out for help. There are many people and agencies who can assist you.”
It is no surprise that Bethany is an ardent advocate of organ donation. “I encourage everyone to be a donor,” she said. “One out of nine patients need a new kidney, unfortunately, many die while waiting for an available donor, or become too ill to undergo the grueling operation of transplantation. I will always honor the gift of life that I have been given.”
Margo Ragan is a freelance writer and lecturer at Holy Family College who lives in New Hope, PA.